Wednesdays with Jillene: I don’t think I could do it…

“Mom, you know there are people who can’t see. I mean, like, they are blind.”

“Yes…”

“But, I mean… like they won’t ever see.”

“I know what you’re talking about Isaiah. Why is this so shocking to you today?”

“Well… its just that… I can’t even handle walking around the house with my eyes closed. I don’t like the dark… I don’t think I could do it… Mom… I don’t think I could do it.”

“I know bud…”

Oh, son… there are so many things I don’t think I can do… because I can’t see.

I have my sight. My eyes can see (okay, I do need my contacts, but I can see physically). But oh so many times my heart and mind are blinded by darkness.

My Isaiah has a book of imponderables. He loves to ponder the imponderables. While that one day the concept of life-long blindness caught his attention, spiritual blindness catches me almost daily. I find myself asking: How can you do any of it, if you can’t see? Life I mean, how can you live life if you can’t see… can’t see purpose… can’t see meaning… can’t see hope… can’t see love…

I don’t think I could do it.

I’ve heard it before, “I don’t know how people handle life without faith, without God! How can you face daily life with all its struggles or recover from tragedy if you don’t have something more than what is seen? How do people live without the hope and love found in Christ?”

But the truth is: many of us who have faith endure times when we don’t think we can do it…

because we still can’t see.

We can’t see how we can make it through another hour without losing our patience. We aren’t sure we can deal with another rejection. We are unable to see how we can cling to hope amidst the daily struggles we are facing. We don’t think we can deal with the financial hardships that keep coming left and right. We find our strength waining to stand strong against the temptations that continue to attack us at our weakest points.

Our “I don’t think I can do it” moments happen when we can’t see because we’re blind. Blind from looking at the wrong things (our understanding, fulfilling our desires, seeking our pleasure, striving from our strength, endeavoring to work our righteousness). And in that blindness we find ourselves at a moment of I don’t think I can do it. 

And we’re right.

That’s what happens when we keep looking at darkness and expecting to find light. We find ourselves sounding a little bit more than a lot like Ecclesiastes as we moan, “Everything is meaningless…” and with a sigh conclude, “and I just don’t think I can do it…”

Because the lies of darkness can’t give us anything more than that. Because the truth is we can’t. Never could. Right there, in what sounds like a hopeless pronouncement, right there we find the hope of the gospel we were saved to… why do we let the lies cloud our vision with darkness?!

Oh… so that we could see…

There is a reason, dear friends, that the Scriptures remind us to guard our hearts, be transformed by the renewing of our mind, hide God’s word in our hearts… because we need the truth to continue to light our path.

When you get to the place where you “don’t think you can do it” you’ve found the perfect place to stop. Not stop and give up on life. But the perfect place to stop staring at the darkness, believing the lies that have enveloped us in blindness. The exact place when we need to turn to the truth of who God is and who we are in Him. It is precisely there when we turn our eyes to the light that is the life… the hope of all mankind… then we can see.

So then, what is the truth?

Share with other believers who may be struggling with darkness. What truth from God’s word do you find as encouragement for those times when you feel, “I don’t think I can do it”?

~Jillene

 

 

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