Wednesdays with Jillene: I am

Early in this day I decided I needed (wanted) to start it like this.


Not because it was coffee, though I did enjoy that, I didn’t even drink half of it.


But because of this.



and this:


and my over tired, feeling drained, and oh so inadequate self wasn’t sure how I’d make it through the first moments of the day much less all the hours to come.

*subject not pictured 😉

Because some days it is hard to feel up to what you’re called to be do. Calling comes in sneaky ways. Calling comes in the unexpected.

“Calling” makes it sound all official and important. And some days it is. Some days it is earth-changing, life-alteringly HUGE. Other days it isn’t. Other days it is ordinary, unremarkably normal.

But (remembering that calling is sneaky) whether big or small our calling can seem impossible. Impossible because the BIG can be insurmountable. Impossible because of lack of motivation. Impossible because with exhaustion, fatigue or weakness even the small can seem impossible.

Which brings us back to a choice I made when (re)starting my day.


No, really, it wasn’t the coffee…

but it was the mug.

I could have (re)started my day with any number of mugs. Yet, I went in search of this one.


Not because of the mug itself but but because of what it it reminds me of, scratch that, because of who it brings into focus…

That fancy little graphic:


I needed (wanted) to see that this morning because I knew I needed to remember this. Not remember me, not focus upon what I had in front of me, but I needed to remember God. I wanted to focus upon who He is, how He loves and what He means.

It changed my morning.

Not in the way I’d originally hoped. My calling (to clean up the sticky remnants of spilled juice, calm the fussing baby, work with the ever-testing almost 2-year-old all the while feeling drawn in a zillion other directions that couldn’t possibly be attended to) remained the same. But, I changed. I changed because I stopped looking at me and all that I am or am not able/willing to do… and instead looked at the I AM.

When facing the monumentally amazing or the ordinary drudgery it can be easy to ask, “Who am I to face this situation?”

But the answer, stamina, ability we need to face the day’s calling is not found in asking, “Who am I?” but in the I AM.

God placed an incredible calling on Moses’ life. In Exodus 3 we read the amazing encounter as the Lord called Moses in an incredible way to a seemingly insurmountable task. God had heard the cry for rescue from His enslaved people and God was calling Moses to be the one to petition Pharaoh and lead the people out of the land.

Moses’ response?

“But Moses said to God, “I am nobody. How can I go to the king and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?”

I am nobody. How can I….

Do you know God’s answer?

“I will be with you… I am who I am. You must tell them: ‘The one who is called I Am has sent me to you.’”

God’s answer to why Moses was called wasn’t to answer how great was Moses. God’s reply was that the I AM was with him.

Facing our calling may leave us feeling the extent of our inadequacies. In that moment, its precisely the time to stop asking “Who am I?” and, instead, look at the I AM. Because so often the truth is, on our own, we aren’t able. Not able to accomplish the BIG calling. Not able to endure the mundane calling. But we aren’t alone.

God said to Moses: “I will be with you…”

Jesus said to the disciples: “And be sure of this: I am with you always…”

We are never alone. The tasks ahead of us are never ours to bear on our own. When you can’t see this truth and the way seems impassable, stop looking at the path, don’t focus on who you are or are not.. look to the I AM who is with you and will never leave nor forsake you.


As I was working on this post another good read came across my newsfeed this morning. Maybe you’re feeling down and out because you’re waiting for the BIG calling to get started or satisfy something deep inside. Take a read by clicking here and be encouraged and challenged on seeing your calling and purpose in the seemingly mundane, ordinary, every day stuff called life.



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