Wednesdays with Jillene: holes become whole

Some moments (hours, days, weeks, years) I feel just like this:

full of holes

I am full of holes. Damaged. Torn through. Beyond repair.

When I so desperately want to be:

Whole

Whole.

But I’m not. I’ve been damaged from the outside.

Attacked

Holes punched from the external right through my tender insides. Torn pieces of me away. Vandalized by things beyond my control.

Even worse is the destruction I inflict from within.

Sabatoge

No matter the source, the result is the same:

Holey

I’m ridden with holes.

Try as I might to repair the results of external attacks or internal sabotage…

Repair?

I’m never whole. I can’t erase all signs of past blemishes and I am unable to avoid future marring. And I know, oh how I know, of the love of God in Christ. Yet, perhaps too easily, I question: How God can make me whole?  I’m afraid my cause is lost and I still look like this:

Patched

Patched.

I’m concerned I can see the remnants of the past. Worried others can see my weakness. Paralyzed at the thought that God still sees my sins.

But that’s because I’m looking at this all wrong. I’m still looking at the holes. I’m still looking at me, at the shadow of what was instead of the brilliant, beautiful glory of what is…

I’m made new.

2 Corinthians 5:17 declares straight to my weary heart, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!”

The power of God’s forgiveness is deeper than our darkest places, “ If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

I am whole.

Not because the past never happened. Not because I’m strong enough to make things right. Not because I’ve figured out how to heal myself.

I am whole becauseIt is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

My holes become whole though the love of Christ poured out through his forgiveness, mercy and grace. And while God continues His good work within me I find wholeness.

Tonight, I pray this for all of us facing our holes:

And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is.  May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.

Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.

Ephesians 3:18-20

~Jillene

Need some more encouragement from God’s word concerning the power of forgiveness? Click here for more scripture to mediate, pray and encourage your heart and ground your mind in the truth of God’s forgiveness.

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